Womanly Problems?
by paper soap
Summary: I wanted Doumyouji to be thrown into a practical situation. And this was the
1. Default Chapter

This is my first fic

This is my first fic. Please read and review it. And tell me if I made any mistakes! Thanx.

Womanly Problems…Part 1

Doumyouji was worried. Really worried. Makino hadn't come to school for ages. Well, actually she hadn't come to school yesterday only. But when he found out that she wasn't here today, Doumyouji started to panic.

He decided to skip school (actually he never did anything in school so it didn't matter if he skipped a day) and visit Makino. 

As he walked he was thinking of how lucky the both of them were(and the fact that how stupid he was not to have taken a cab/car). He and Makino had been separated one time too many. Fortunately, Doumyouji's father had stepped in and intervened. 

Author's note: Sorry, I'm being a bit vague about this. I just want to concentrate on this current storyline.

Finally, he reached the apartment Makino shared with Susumu. 

Susumu was just about to leave when he found himself chest-to-face with Doumyouji Tsukasa.

"Is your sister in, Susumu?" Doumyouji asked the smaller boy.

"Umm…" Susumu had never been sure how to act around Doumyouji.

Suddenly, as if to answer Doumyouji's question, a voice called out. It was unmistakably Makino's, albeit quite muffled.

"Susumu, don't forget to be back before dinner…" the voice called out.

The door was slightly ajar, and so Doumyouji pushed it open. But before he could take a step inside, the door was slammed back shut into his face.

"I know it's you Doumyouji! I don't want to see you today! In fact, I don't want to see anyone right now. Oooohhhh," Makino moaned, obviously in some sort of pain.

"Makino, I want to know what's wrong with you," Doumyouji shouted.

"Go away or else I won't ever see you again ever!" answered Makino in a an equally loud and angry voice.

"Makino…" Doumyouji was about to say (or rather shout) when Susume tugging on his shirt interrupted him.

"Umm..umm..I think you had better listen to what she says…." Susumu said in a soft voice.

"Why what's wrong with with Makino? Is she okay?" Doumyouji asked Susumu.

"Well..it's..umm…_womanly problems_…" he muttered and scampered off to escape Doumyouji's questioning glare.

**_Womanly problems?_ What was a _womanly problem_?** thought Doumyouji.

Doumyouli decided to find the rest of the F4 to ask them what a _womanly problem _was. With luck, perhaps he would find them lounging around in some corner of the school.

Sure enough he found them lazing around by the pond.

"Tsukasa, you're back. We thought you decided to sleep in. With Makino," said Soujiro upon seeing Doumyouji's face flushed red from all the walking.

Rui as usual was in a zombie-like state. Akira was sitting on the grass thinking about a new lady he had met.

"I need your help. I went to Makino's but well…she had some _problems_. Some _womanly problems._ What I want to know is what are _womanly problems_?"

And this point, everyone sweatdrops. ^_^; (including me!)

"Do you know Rui?" Doumyouji asked the orange-haired boy.

"Err…err…ZZZZZ…"@.@ These days when Rui was faced with a problem he'd just zombie off.

With Rui snoring lightly in background, Doumyouji turned to face Akira and Soujiro.

"Well, do you two know the answer? Akira?"

"It's a process…something…yeah well…"Akira turned red.

"Akira, you have sisters. You have to know something about _womanly problems_." Doumyouji was getting frustrated.

(Author's note: Yeah, well Doumyouji you have a sister too. Oooppss just gave away a bit of the 2nd part.)

"How about you Soujiro. You hang around with women a lot. You have to know something!"

"Don't look at me Tsukasa. Weren't you ever pying attention in Biology class anyway?"

(Author's note: But you've never attended class before.)

"But I've never attended class before!"

By now, Doumyouji was getting pretty desperate. He looked at his friends in exasperation. Akira's face was still red. Rui, well, Rui was too asleep. And Soujiro was humming away.

None of them obviously wanted to talk about _womanly problems_.

Doumyouji decided that if he wanted to get answers, he would have to ask some women. Not these pathetic excuse for men.

And who better to ask than his own onee-san.

****

*There that's the first part of my first fic. I'll write more as I think up of new stuff.

;) paper_soap@hotmail.com


	2. Ooohhh... Those Womanly problems...

*^__^* Arigato, minna-san for all the nice comments. Made my exam-filled days more bearable. Now, without further ado, let's launch into the second part of "Womanly Problems?"  
  
  
Chapter 2  
"Ooooohhh....Those Womanly Problems...."  
  
  
(Warning:This is going to be l-o-o-n-g-g-g...)  
  
When we last saw Tsukasa, he was on his way to see Tsubaki...  
  
  
  
Doumyouji, who finally had the sense to get a cab was thinking.  
  
"Womanly problems? Hmm....I wonder how I could have missed knowing about such a thing. If it's an illness, there must have been some symptoms."  
  
Doumyouji's mind drifts back to the past week, trying to pick out instances where there might have been evidence of womanly problems with Makino.  
  
***Flashback***  
  
We see two very angry Doumyouji and Makino arguing over something trivial.  
  
"Stop calling me bonbii!"  
  
"Well, that's what you are!"  
  
"I am not a bonbii!"  
  
"Whatever. Face it. BONBII!"  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"Are too!"  
  
Makino's face was flushed red with anger.  
  
Doumyouji had a vein popping out his forehead.  
  
  
Suddenly, Makino's face started to crumple and without warning, she began to cry. Tears rolled down her face.  
  
Doumyouji panicked. He didn't know how such a small thing could make Makino cry.  
  
"I didn't mean it, Makino. Hey, don't cry. Here..."  
  
Doumyouji dug his pocket for a handkerchief or tissue.  
  
"It's okay, Doumyouji. I'm fine. Really. Hey!*here Makino gives an almost maniacal smile* let's go BUNGEE JUMPING!  
  
"Bungee jumping?"  
  
"Yeah. Bungee jumping! Bungee jumping!" Makino shouted like an over-caffienated Shigeru.  
  
"Stop it crazy woman! Stop dancing in the street!"  
  
"Did you just call me crazy woman? That's just as bad as calling me 'bonbii'!"  
  
With that Makino proceeded to rain blows on Doumyouji's head.  
  
***End of Flashback***  
  
"Mood swings...That doesn't seem like a symptom. Makino's always like that anyway..."thought Doumyouji and he drifts back into thoughts.  
  
***Yet another Flashback***  
  
Doumyouji is walking towards Makino. Makino is not facing him. She appears to be standing still, wanting for someone.  
  
"Ready to go, Makino?"  
  
Makino turns around. Her eyes are glazed over, giving her a zombie-like look.  
  
"Chocolate...chocolate..."Makino says in an unintelligible voice.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Want chocolate...chocolate...NO!NEED chocolate!"  
  
"Do you mean chocolate lie milk chocolate, dark choclate, bitter sweet chocolate..."  
  
Doumyouji didn't notice that Makino had begun to drool.(Me is drooling too!)  
  
"A-a-a-a...Chocolate...Let's go buy chocolate..."  
  
Doumyouji sweat-dropped. ^_^;  
  
***End of the Yet another Flashback***  
  
"The incredible urge to eat chocolate? Nope, that couldn't be a symptom," thought Doumyouji, remembering how Makino's eyes had glittered when she entered the sweet shop.  
  
Finally, he reached the Doumyouji mansion.(more like palace)  
  
Doumyouji found Tsubaki, Shigeru and Sakurako sipping tea in the garden. Tsubaki did not look happy to see him.  
  
"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?"  
  
Doumyouji was about to give a sharp retort but decided against it. He figured it might amount to a sound beating.(True...true...)  
  
Besides she might end up not answering his question like everybody else.  
  
So, instead...  
  
(Author's note: Now I want everyone, yes everyone, who reads the next part to imagine it. If you're like me, you'll get a pretty freaky mental image.)  
  
Doumyouji opened his eyes really wide, making them look as googly-eyed as possible(like those overly-cute, overly-irritating looking type characters) and asked in a small, trembly voice,  
"Nee-chan, do you know what a womanly problem is?"  
  
Blink.Blink.(went Doumyouji's eyes)  
  
Tsubaki had the decency to look shocked. No, not just shocked. She was flabbergasted!  
  
Shigeru and Sakurako just stared at Doumyouji with disbelieving eyes.  
  
It took awhile for all to recover from the look and Doumyouji's question. By then, Doumyouji had taken the look off his face, and was back to his scowling, angry self.  
  
"Well?!! What's a womanly problem, then?"  
  
"You mean, you really have no idea what a womanly problem is, Doumyouji-san?" asked Sakurako.  
  
"I wouldn't have asked if I knew, right?" he retorted.  
  
"What?!!" shouted Shigeru.  
  
"Are you stupid?"she continued,"everyone knows what a womanly problem is!"  
  
(Author's note:Well, apparently Doumyouji's the only one.)  
  
Tsubaki, who had already recovered from the shock, came up to her brother, looked him in the eye, and asked,  
"You really don't know?"  
  
"Hai, I have no idea Nee-chan."  
  
"Umm...Didn't Mother ever teach you?"  
  
"Her? No! Why should she?"  
  
Suddenly, Tsubaki blushed. She never knew that she was going to have to educate Doumyouji on this delicate matter.  
  
"Alright, then," she adopted a military stance,"let's go."  
  
"Go where?" asked a very confused Doumyouji, Shigeru and Sakurako.  
  
"To educate you."  
  
Some time later,  
  
Everyone found themselves in a supermarket.  
  
Tsubaki was weaving through the aisles, looking for the correct one.  
Finally, she found it.  
  
"Here it is Tsukasa. I'm sure you'll be able to guess what womanly problems are after looking at these."  
  
By these, Tsubaki menat the row and rows of pads, tampons etc...  
  
"Long', "Slim", "Maxi", "Ultra slim" and "Super absorbent" read the packages.  
  
(In the bacground you can hear Shigeru and Sakurako arguing over which was better."Pads!" , "No, tampons!" , "PADS!")  
  
"Nee-chan, do you mean to tell me that womanly problems mean diarrhea?!!"  
  
"No! Tsukasa don't you have any idea what these are?"  
  
"Of course, I do. When I watched TV, I always saw all these women prancing around, promoting these diapers."  
  
"Diapers?!! You think they're diapers?!!" Tsubaki's voice rang out.  
  
(Author's note: Up until a few years ago, I thought they were diapers too!)  
  
"Well, what are they then? Besides, you haven't told me what a womanly problem is?" said Tsukasa.  
  
"Diapers. He thinks they're diapers..." Tsubaki was babbling nonsense. She had received too many shocks in one day.  
  
Fortunately,  
  
(DRUM ROLL)  
  
Super Shigeru and her sidekick, Sakurako to the rescue!  
  
Both had spotted a magazine with the words, in bold red print, "A Guy's guide to WOMANLY PROBLEMS."  
  
"Read this,"they said in unison.  
  
Muttering something about confusing women, Doumyouji flipped open the magazine to the appropriate page.  
  
He began to read the detailed descriptions as to what a womanly problem was. Very detailed descriptions.  
  
The play of emotions on Doumyouji's face was interesting to watch. His facial expressions changed from shock to horror to disgust and disbelief.  
  
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he finished reading.  
  
He only had one word to say,  
"Ick."  
  
And then he was gone, to help solve Makino's womanly problems.  
Leaving Shigeru and Sakurako to take care of his still babbling sister(Diaper?Diaper?).  
  
  
  
(Author's note: Well, that's the end of the second chapter. I don't blame you if you skipped some parts. It is long. Thanx for taking the time to read. *^__^*  
The last chapter will be out as soon as I finish all my exams.)  
  
  
paper_soap@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Solving Womanly Problems

Womanly Problems-Part 3   
  
Solving Womanly Problems   
  
The last thing Doumyouji Tsukasa heard before he stepped out of the supermarket was,   
  
"We have a problem in Aisle 3. Could someone please attend to the sick woman there...Umm...Wait...Hold on a second...Lady, you can't...Hey! My mike!"   
  
"Diapers! He thinks their diapers! Can you believe..."   
  
"Now, now Tsubaki-sempai, it's okay...Get away from the mike..."   
  
For a minute, Doumyouji considered helping Shigeru and Sakurako with Tsubaki but...   
  
"Let her embarrass herself."   
  
And with that he raced to Makino's apartment.   
  
When he got there, Doumyouji knocked on the door. Once, twice, three times...   
  
Nobody opened the door.   
  
He tried to turn the doorknob. The door was unlocked. Doumyouji got worried, fearing the worse.   
  
There in the middle of the cramped living room was a mountain of blankets. A shivering mountain of blankets. A softly groaning, shivering mountain of blankets.   
  
"Makino, is that you?"   
  
"W-wh-what? Who's there?" Makino's voice was slurred.   
  
"It's me. Doumyouji."   
  
"I thought I told you to go home. What part of 'go home' do you not understand?"   
  
"I can't stand seeing you like this, Makino."   
  
"You haven't even seen me yet..."   
  
"But I can imagine what you look like."   
  
"Sigh...You made me do this Doumyouji. Don't blame me for this. I'm going to have to show you my TRUE FORM..."   
  
Makino emphasized on the phrase,' TRUE FORM'. Her voice made the hairs on the nape of Doumyouji's neck stand.   
  
With that, Makino came out from under the mountain of blankets.   
  
Doumyouji didn't flinch, on the outside that is. On the inside, Doumyouji felt like running away screaming.   
  
He was unprepared for the sight that greeted him.   
  
What stood before him was definitely not Makino. At least, he didn't think it was.   
Bloodshot eyes stared back into his.   
  
Makino's normally glossy brown hair was a dull, mousy brown. It stuck out in places, making Makino's hair look a little like a lion's mane.   
  
Her shoulders were hunched, giving her an Igor-like frame.   
  
But horrors of all horrors, Makino was wearing an electric pink 'Hello Kitty' pajama's.   
  
Author's note: I look like that in the morning sans embarrassing pajamas.   
  
It was almost too much for Domyouji to take in.   
  
"Impressive...You haven't run away yet. My brother would have fled by now...Pretty brave."   
  
"Yeah..."Doumyouji said this softly, not trusting himself to speak loudly, lest his intestinal organs failed him, sending this morning's breakfast out onto the floor.   
  
"What brings you here?" Makino asked, noting Doumyouji's suddenly green face.   
  
"I came to help."   
  
"Help? How can you help? I bet you have no idea what I'm going through..."   
  
"I read the 'Teen' magazine on 'Womanly Problems'. I'm sure I can handle anything that's wrong with you."   
  
"You read 'Teen' magazine. Doumyouji, I'm surprised. I didn't know you could read. Wow!"   
  
Even though she was not feeling too well, Makino had not lost any of her sarcasm.   
  
"Trust me. I know exactly what to do," Doumyouji answered.   
  
"Alright. Let me tell you what I have and we'll see whether you can treat it Doctor Doumyouji..."   
  
"Doctor Doumyouji. Hmm...I like the sound of that...Okay, tell me what's wrong..."   
  
"Since this morning I've been having cramps. My back hurts like hell (pardon my language) and I'm feeling extremely sluggish."   
  
Doumyouji thought this over for a moment. And then,   
  
"Get on the futon."   
  
"The futon? Why the futon? Err...Umm..."   
  
Makino had a sudden vision of her and Doumyouji on the futon. Together. On their own. Not a good idea.   
  
"Forget what I just said. I'm fine really."   
  
Makino contradicted herself soon after. She gave a moan of pain, as the cramps came.   
  
"This is for your own good. I know you're thinking I'm going to do 'hentai' things. I can see it in your face. After being together for so long you still don't trust me."   
  
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so mean. I'll get on the futon."   
  
Makino got on the futon, albeit reluctantly.   
  
And the most amazing feeling came over her.   
  
It was a mixture of comfort and peace.   
It was the feeling of Doumyouji giving her the most amazing massage in the entire world. His strong hands kneaded her back, releasing all the discomfort she had felt earlier on during the day.   
  
Author's note: I'd like Doumyouji to give me a massage too! *^__^*   
  
She thought she was in heaven.   
  
"Doumyouji, if your family's company ever goes bankrupt, I swear you could go into the massaging line. This feels so-o-o-o goo-o-o-o-o-d."   
  
Doumyouji felt good after hearing the happiness in her voice. All her wanted was for her to be happy.   
  
Author's note: I couldn't keep the sappiness out.   
  
After half an hour,   
  
"That's enough. I'm tired and my arms are aching...I suggest you take a bath right now. You look like you haven't taken a bath in days."   
  
"2 days actually."   
  
"2 what?"   
  
"I haven't taken a bath in two days..."   
  
"All the more reason you should go and get one right now. I'm going to prepare us some lunch."   
  
"Are you sure you can cook?"   
  
"I will be fine. Now, go! You're beginning to stink up the house."   
  
Doumyouji regretted saying that he would be fine. He wished he had never offered to cook. All he knew was grilled fish and grilled squid.   
  
Doumyouji began to look around the house for a cookbook. He found one where the easiest recipe was 'Chicken Soup'. It would have to do. Fortunately, most of the ingredients could be found in Makino's kitchen.   
  
When Makino came out from the shower, she could smell something good wafting out of the kitchen. After changing into some clean (and less embarrassing) clothes, she went into the kitchen where a sweaty and flustered Doumyouji stood over the stove, stirring something in a pot.   
  
"Do you have any idea how difficult it is to cook?!!"Doumyouji asked.   
  
"Difficult. I thought you said you were fine,"she teased him.   
  
"I lied. Anyway, lunch is almost ready."   
  
Doumyouji ladled the soup into two bowls. Makino noticed a chicken's foot sticking out of the pot. She wondered whether she should call the Poisons Department and check to see if Doumyouji's cooking came under 'Poisonous'.   
  
"Here we are. Chicken Soup for the Soul*,"Doumyouji announced.   
  
*Author's note: I just couldn't resist it.   
The soup was good. Makino felt instantly revitalized by the hot soup going down her throat. Doumyouji though, thought the soup was terrible.   
  
"Ugh! This is gross,"he exclaimed after the first mouthful.   
  
"I don't believe you. This is your own cooking. You're supposed to say it's good. Besides, I think this tastes absolutely delicious."   
  
"If you say so..."   
  
After eating (more eating on Makino's part), Doumyouji handed Makino some pills.   
  
"What's this? Are you becoming like Rui? Stoned all the time?"Makino asked.   
  
"It's painkillers. I got some before coming here. It'll help to ease the cramps."   
  
"Umm...Thanks."   
  
Soon, Makino was feeling drowsy. The effect of food in her stomach and the painkillers was making her sleepy. She sat on the futon, struggling to form the words she wanted to say.   
  
Doumyouji sat beside her. He was tired as well.   
  
"Doumyouji, I just want to thank you for all you've done. I love you for it..."   
  
"It's alright. You know how much trouble I took just to find out about womanly problems? Lots of trouble. I deserve a reward. Don't you agree, Makino? Makino? Makino?"   
  
The only thing he heard was Makino's gentle snoring.   
  
Doumyouji smiled. He held on to her hand, wanting to give her a sense of security as she slept. Doumyouji's eyelids were getting heavier each minute. Soon he was sleeping as well, still holding on to her hand. Drooling...   
  
Author's note: Well, that's it. End of my first fic. Finally. And now, on to new fics! But, I need a break first. ^__~V   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
paper_soap@hotmail.com 


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